The Most Random Thing Of Your Life
by Starry o.0
Summary: You know you want to read it. SO READ! NOW! Sakura likes BSB, Naruto's real name is Luke, Sasuke likes playing with..light..sticks, Kakashi uses TIME TRAVEL! and Orochimaru likes bubble baths. What could be better!


**Hmm kiddies, this is what happens when you do things you shouldn't**

**then begin typing.**

**Mwahaha.**

**The Most Random Thing Of Your Life**

Sakura.

Sorry. I thought one of those dramatic pauses would fit nicely there. No? NO?! YOU DARE DEFY ME?!  
Moving on. Sakura pulled her keys from her pocket and shoved them into her car. She was on her way to pick up Sasuke and Naruto.

Shoved is a funny word isn't it?

Partly because it was their 6 year.. What could you call it? Anniversary? Oh yes, that sounds nice..  
And partly because the two had been fucktards and gone partying last night. Naruto had called her this morning screaming at Sasuke to put his pants on and telling Sakura his butt hurt, and to come get them from Motel 8.

She was praying that didn't mean..

**They're GAY! I TOLD YOU!  
**_Do you ever shut up? I thought I locked you away.  
_**Oh no. Ohhh no, my dear Sa-ku-ra. I'll never be defeated. NEVAARRRR!**

Sakura slapped herself.  
Then flipped off a guy on the sidewalk who was staring at her like she was crazy.

The pink haired girl popped in a CD she had made a while back.  
When Backstreet Boys was number one, Sakura blasted it. She pumped her fist in the "YES!" way.

"TELL ME WHY! Ain't nothin' but a hearrrrrt ache! TELL ME WHYY! Ain't nothin but a missstake, tell me why, I never wanna hear you sayyy, I want it that way!" Sakura was banging her head with the music as she swerved across the street.

It was so loud she didn't hear the alarms behind her.

She snapped her head down, "Am I your fire? Your one desire? Yes, I know its too late, but I want it that way!"

"PLEASE PULL OVER IMMEADIATLY!"  
Sakura hadn't heard THIS remixed version!

**SA-WEET!  
**_I KNOW!!_

"YOU PLAYING BACKSTREET BOYS, PLEASE PULL OVER!"

**Zomg, Nick is so smexy.  
**_We need to have his babies.  
_**Now you're sounding like me pinky!  
**_I wish I could kill you._

"IF YOU DO NOT PULL OVER WE WILL SHOOT YOUR TIRES!"

That made Sakura look in her mirrors.

**THE POPO!  
**_AHHHHHH damn you inner self!_

She pulled over and watched the fat man struggle out of the door and waddle towards hers.  
"Hello ma'am. I'm going to need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyser test please."  
Sakura's eye twitched. How dare he accuse her of being drunk!

"DIE!" Sakura punched him as hard as she could. Which was surprisingly very hard.  
To her dismay, his belly absorbed the impact and simply wiggled a lot.

She then leaned out the window and barfed.

"Woah.. What was that?" The man tried, and failed, to look down towards his belly. His multiple chins made this impossible.

Sakura looked like WTF!

"Did something just hit me?"  
"Yes."  
"What was it?"  
"A donut. I think it bounced off that way," Sakura pointed towards the opposite side of the street.  
"DONUT?!" And that was the fastest Sakura had ever seen a fat person run. She drove off towards the motel.

* * *

"SAKURAA!" Naruto jumped onto her, knocking her onto the bed.  
"RAPEEEEE!" Sakura swung her arms in a frenzy. Thankfully one landed on the blond's head as he flew into the wall.

"Back off my grill, Naruto!" Sakura did a weird motion with her hands that made Sasuke faint.  
"BISH DON'T COP A 'TUDE!"  
"Sasuke-kun, I gotta questionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn," Sakura pouted at him.

"No you can't have my babies."

"WHY THEY HATIN' ON ME?!" Sakura proceeded to crunk.

"Turn yo swagggg on Sakura!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH" Naruto hopped out of the wall debris to skip around.

Sasuke examined his cuticles.  
He decided it was time for a manicure.

_AWWWW AREN'T YOU A CUTE BUNNY? YES YOU ARE!  
_**Aw hell Sasuke, wtf are you thinking?**

Sasuke's eyes widen.

Oh, you thought that was Sakura? Well NO. You're wrong. In fact, you should probably go cry yourself to sleep for being such a FAILURE!

_Are you.. GOD?!  
_**No you fucktard.  
**_NOO WHYYY!_

Sakura's hardcore gangsta shit was stopped as she watched her dark haired team mate fall to the floor in tears.

The girl felt bad for him. She fell on her knees in front of him. "I could be your hero, baby!" She reached her arms out to him.

"I can kiss away the pain!"

"Sakura, stfu. You sound horrible."

Everyone looked at the corner.

"OMG!" Oh yes. He really did say O-M-G. Separately. Mwahahaa. "The wall talked!" Naruto grabbed his head. "My whole life was just changed in this instant!"

"This is Kakashi idiot."

The three looked back at the corner. Yep, there was Kakashi.  
Kaka. Bahahahahahahahha.

"When did you get here, master?" Sakura looked at him with stars in her eyes.  
"Time travel," Kakashi hunched over and rubbed his hands together as he cackled.

"You are not my master," Naruto stood up with his light stick.  
"No Luke, I am your FATHAH!" Kakashi pulled his light thingamajig out.

"And I," Sasuke stood out, "Want in on this action!" As he pulled out his.. Well..

What they had out.

Minus the light.

"HENTAI!!" Sakura covered her eyes and ran into a wall.

"Hello boysss," Orochimaru hissed, sticking his tongue across the room to lick Kakashi.  
"Owhhh that tickles!" Kakashi giggled and jumped.

Sakura stood up after punching the stars out of her eyes and saw Orochimaru leaning on the bathroom door with his thingy covered with bubbles.

"OHH BUBBLES!" Sakura ran over to pop them. Sasuke grabbed her as she ran past.  
"NUUHH DON'T TOUCH THEM! They cover an evil snake!" Sasuke screamed and shook his head crazily.

"DIE!" Somehow Sakura managed to make her arm stretch out to punch the evil man.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He said in a girly voice as he flew out the window.

"I love you guys!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air.  
"I love Sasuke!" Sakura's arms flung around the said boy.  
"I love it up the butt!" Sasuke yelled.

His two teammates stared at him. "HA! Jkayy guys. You know I go asexual!"  
Sakura and Naruto nodded their heads.

"And I love-" Kakashi started.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut as her hands covered her ears, "HENTAI!!!"

She ran into another wall.

* * *

**um.  
This will probably be deleted by next week.  
When I feel like being sane.**

**-starry**


End file.
